Coping With Not getting A Fair Chance
It is quite common for athletes at times to feel that they are not being given a fair chance to prove themselves. These are difficult times, but they do provide good learning opportunities - either as a wake up call if the 'unfair' treatment is in fact justified, or in learning to cope with life's inevitable setbacks if it is not.
RECOGNIZE
- Life is not always fair.
- The crux of all stress management is taking full responsibility for that which you can control, and working as best as possible around that which you cannot.
- Unfairness is a subjective opinion (which may or may not be accurate).
- Coaches & selectors have their reasons for making the decisions that they do (which you may or may not agree with).
DO NOT
- Do not confuse this current lack of opportunity, with you not having enough potential as an athlete, or with you being unworthy as a person.
DO
- Ask the coach for specific feedback.
- Genuinely consider any feedback that you do get.
- Keep working consistently hard at all the things which are under your own control.
- Externally, show your motivation not your frustration.
- Internally, accept your feelings, but don't wallow in them.
- Share your feelings with someone that you trust.
- If you feel it is genuinely a hopeless situation, do consider other options.
NOTE
I expect this checklist - more than the others - to generate lots of 'buts' in athletes' heads as they read it. The problem with this is that as long as you are generating 'buts' you are not really open to considering other points of view – and there is a real danger of this holding you back more in your career than what the current situation actually is. Re-read the list when your head is quieter - allowing the points to more fully sink in.
SEE ALSO
How to cope with Criticism
How to cope with Disappointment
How to cope with Slumps
Coping with Perfectionism
Coping with Pre-Competition Nerves
Coping with Negative Thinking
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